Tangled Mind

I'm living in a small city I dreamed

City I adore the most on my way back home

I love taking a walk to everywhere I want

With my white umbrella, I walk thru those shadows

The wind makes me feel cold, but I don't even care

I need my cure...

Lately, I realized that something missed.

I missed my cure..

I love this place but it's not home

Half of myself is flying somewhere

My tears scattered in my yesterday prayer

I felt so weak

Those things are flying in my head

Those that can't be said orally

But I know, God's listening to me

Even when I shut my mouth up

Then, I burst out

I want to wait till the time has come

I wish that I were just the same...

I wish a simpler life God...
I'm sorry 

May I ask?

Dear God, may I ask? Will I have a time when I can be a normal hearted, not the blunt one? I will be glad if you say yes..

the easiest way to define people is to read their writings

-sin

falling down

i have never felt like this before..

it's like a tangle infiltrating into my brain, deeper and deeper

these 572 days are damn tiring

i'm sick of everything happened

i miss my father's steady gait
i miss having breakfast at home
i miss my family swimming time
i miss my high school friends
i miss swinging on someone's hand, without any worry.

if i could ask something...
i would like to have time machine,
and going back to time when everything was simpler

it's all because i'm falling down

-sad me

go away

When the risk's been taken

When the promises have been said

When the decision has been decided

Grab a mirror, then take it for granted

If there's a first

And there's the second

It will be much great

And if you entice the third one...

You'll got nothing.. at all...

It's written here because someone's ever been the second one

The first was jerk

and the third was heartless 

Because someone knows how it feels

Get it over and go away.

invisible rules (IR)

kali ini, otaklah yang berbicara.

lelah sudah belakangan ini saya dikuasai oleh hati.

kadang mendayung hidup pake otak jauh lebih nyaman.

kalo kata orang jaman sekarang, 'feel secure' gitu.

soalnya tau, nggak akan jatuh kemana-kemana.

nah, kalo hidup didayung pake hati rasanya nano-nano

sering kerasa 'temporary high'

tapi bisa jadi 'suddenly down'

ini juga yang katanya orang jaman sekarang 'feel insecure'

ada kawan laki-laki yang ngomong 'pelangi' ke seorang perempuan.

ternyata kawan tersebut juga ngomong 'pelangi' ke seorang lainnya.

ternyata yang ada bukan 'seorang', tapi 'dua orang', atau mungkin bahkan 'tiga orang'

ternyata kata 'pelangi' itu sama kayak sebuah invisible rules.

(halah, kayak koas aja sih kamu)

selalu diucapkan ke siapapun

karna dia nggak pernah tau, sama siapa dia bisa nyandar.

katanya, dia mau begitu sampai waktunya habis.

kadang saya kesel liat kelakuan kamu.

pingin rasanya saya jedotin kepala kamu ke tembok.

tapi tenang aja, saya nungguin kok.

kapan-kapan kan pasti butuh tempat sampah.

nggak apa-apa jadi tempat sampah,

kan sekalian nebeng

nebeng dapet pelajaran hidup cuma-cuma.

lumayan..

Durable Love

beberapa orang komen "ih kok joko anwar mau aja sih bikin film isinya iklan?!". but, in my opinion it's kind of cute funny short film. yah, at least gw ketawa pas pertama kali nonton. 

hidup itu terlalu 'huge' untuk dihabiskan sendiri.....

:)

29102012

the coward one is still peeping from the back of the big stone, even afraid to see the rainbow. like a stupid shit!

60 kilometer(s) per day

Have you ever felt sick of something?
Me?
Yes, I have.
I was fed up with the hospital i come to everyday, 2-3 months ago. I was living like a robot, coming in the early morning - night shift - sleeping like death body at dorm in the next day - coming in the early morning again - and... so.... on....

Let me say, I spent 26 of my 60 nights at the hospital. Till the drawing time came, i got a 'jackpot' examiner doctor. Hahaha. I also got a quite 'special' resident doctor. What a perfect combination! After 2 days, i just realized that i was in trouble (_ _#). Eating all those books in that busy weeks with ding-dong-nighit shift was burning me like hell (-____-). And the exam day had finally come that day, i was tested for 2 days with each about an hour. It's stopped after he said that my patient's medical record was not completed as it should be.

berikut salah satu cuplikannya:

Doctor: "ooo, pasienmu umurnya berapa?"
Me: " 11 bulan dokter"
Doctor: "ooo 11 bulan ga punya gigi ya? kok ga ditulis di status"
Me: *nunduk* *senyumkecut* *inginsalto* *pengennangis* *kenapaharusluputmacemgini*

Hidup itu seperti drama komedi terselubung. Masing-masing saling menertawakan dibelakang yang lainnya.