go away

When the risk's been taken

When the promises have been said

When the decision has been decided

Grab a mirror, then take it for granted

If there's a first

And there's the second

It will be much great

And if you entice the third one...

You'll got nothing.. at all...

It's written here because someone's ever been the second one

The first was jerk

and the third was heartless 

Because someone knows how it feels

Get it over and go away.

invisible rules (IR)

kali ini, otaklah yang berbicara.

lelah sudah belakangan ini saya dikuasai oleh hati.

kadang mendayung hidup pake otak jauh lebih nyaman.

kalo kata orang jaman sekarang, 'feel secure' gitu.

soalnya tau, nggak akan jatuh kemana-kemana.

nah, kalo hidup didayung pake hati rasanya nano-nano

sering kerasa 'temporary high'

tapi bisa jadi 'suddenly down'

ini juga yang katanya orang jaman sekarang 'feel insecure'

ada kawan laki-laki yang ngomong 'pelangi' ke seorang perempuan.

ternyata kawan tersebut juga ngomong 'pelangi' ke seorang lainnya.

ternyata yang ada bukan 'seorang', tapi 'dua orang', atau mungkin bahkan 'tiga orang'

ternyata kata 'pelangi' itu sama kayak sebuah invisible rules.

(halah, kayak koas aja sih kamu)

selalu diucapkan ke siapapun

karna dia nggak pernah tau, sama siapa dia bisa nyandar.

katanya, dia mau begitu sampai waktunya habis.

kadang saya kesel liat kelakuan kamu.

pingin rasanya saya jedotin kepala kamu ke tembok.

tapi tenang aja, saya nungguin kok.

kapan-kapan kan pasti butuh tempat sampah.

nggak apa-apa jadi tempat sampah,

kan sekalian nebeng

nebeng dapet pelajaran hidup cuma-cuma.

lumayan..

Durable Love

beberapa orang komen "ih kok joko anwar mau aja sih bikin film isinya iklan?!". but, in my opinion it's kind of cute funny short film. yah, at least gw ketawa pas pertama kali nonton. 

hidup itu terlalu 'huge' untuk dihabiskan sendiri.....

:)

29102012

the coward one is still peeping from the back of the big stone, even afraid to see the rainbow. like a stupid shit!

60 kilometer(s) per day

Have you ever felt sick of something?
Me?
Yes, I have.
I was fed up with the hospital i come to everyday, 2-3 months ago. I was living like a robot, coming in the early morning - night shift - sleeping like death body at dorm in the next day - coming in the early morning again - and... so.... on....

Let me say, I spent 26 of my 60 nights at the hospital. Till the drawing time came, i got a 'jackpot' examiner doctor. Hahaha. I also got a quite 'special' resident doctor. What a perfect combination! After 2 days, i just realized that i was in trouble (_ _#). Eating all those books in that busy weeks with ding-dong-nighit shift was burning me like hell (-____-). And the exam day had finally come that day, i was tested for 2 days with each about an hour. It's stopped after he said that my patient's medical record was not completed as it should be.

berikut salah satu cuplikannya:

Doctor: "ooo, pasienmu umurnya berapa?"
Me: " 11 bulan dokter"
Doctor: "ooo 11 bulan ga punya gigi ya? kok ga ditulis di status"
Me: *nunduk* *senyumkecut* *inginsalto* *pengennangis* *kenapaharusluputmacemgini*

Hidup itu seperti drama komedi terselubung. Masing-masing saling menertawakan dibelakang yang lainnya.

Balas Dendam

Orang-orang selalu bilang, "Sudahlah, kamu tidak usah membalasnya, biar Tuhan saja yang membalas".

Bukankah lebih tepat seperti ini, "Sudahlah, jika ingin membalas, balaslah sendiri dengan tanganmu. Tetapi kita sama-sama tau, tidak baik membalas bajingan dengan bertindak layaknya bajingan pula. Lalu apa bedanya kamu sama dia?"

Kenapa? Karena (menurut saya), 'membalas kejahatan' adalah sifat dasar manusia. Jadi, jangan pernah meminta Tuhan membalaskan dendam manusia. Karena Tuhan tidak akan pernah 'membalaskan dendam'.

:)

Lagi waras,

Sin

Thousands Reasons

I have one hundred seventy three things to be written here. But there're just limited time, limited chances, and limited good mood to have them written. I always really want to have all my thoughts written, but sometimes sleeping is much more interesting to do. 

Life is going like usual, like a normal life with its up(s) and down(s). But, that is my normal life, not yours, neither anyone else. Yea, something normal for me, not always normal for the others. Everyone's life has its own waves. One time, i was having night shift, sitting inside pediatric emergency room, and talking with a just-known-friend, then he asked "Sinta, kamu nggak pernah punya masalah ya? nggak pernah sedih ya? menclok sana, menclok sini. ketawa sana, ketawa sini". So, i answered quickly "siapa bilang? hahaha. masalah sih banyak, tapi kan ga perlu mengganggu kehidupan". Then, he responded "wah parah kamu, gampang banget ngelupain masalah". Deep down inside my brain, "eh buset, aneh bener ini orang. masak masalah disuruh dipelihara. gila kali".

Because of that conversation i remember that one of my friend said "the one we have to worry about is the one who never looks sad and frown". Yes, i agree that every human being needs happiness, laughter, sadness, and tears. People need to fall and raise. Those things are also happened to me, but i process them in (maybe) different way. 

When thunder comes, i need:

24-48 hours to burst it out, think based on feeling, do everything that could make me laugh

next 150 hours to have the brain back, get the best answer, place myself and say "what if", and have some rationalization.

And the last, living my own life like usual.

What Should I Say, Beside 'Thanks'?

Tons of thanks to my far away family: anggie, dayu, nurul, jo, kiki, andien, anggra, weda, emman, and mas bat. You guys never fail me :)

definisi kangen: perasaan paling brengsek sedunia, ketika disandingkan dengan kata gengsi.