I walk through it all..

It was started on 2004. I was graduated from my junior high school, SMP 20 Jakarta. Then, my mom asked me to study at SMA 81 Jakarta because its location is not too far from my home (about 30 minutes by car if there’s no traffic jam and changing to be 2 hours if there’s a fucking traffic jam haha).

First time I saw this guy was at my high school, when we’re fitting for our school uniform on June 2004. I got 128^th of queuing number and he was 127^th. I’d never known about him at all, though our junior high school are opposite-located each other. He’d known me since we were still in JHS, but he’s never proofed it :p And there was another unintentionally case that we were in but we didn’t know each other. When we were graduated from our own elementary school, we registered in SMP Santo Markus II. We did our placement test, then I got the 3^rd number and he got 4^th. We knew about all these occurrences after we were together. It’s kinda funny.

High school’s time was started in the middle of 2004. I got lots of new friends, and one of them was this guy. I defined him as my mind sharing friend. Sometimes, he’s arrogant but he’s nice. We talked about everything and it went until almost the end of 2004. Another silly case was when we got the same class in our English course class though by placement test :D Oh ok, back to topic. In the end of 2004, we realized that “ohh ok, it might be more than that friendship.” 

December, 7^th 2004, we started our relationship. We did this for sure, I don’t know why. Ohh oke, I’ll tell you first. We both come from different cultural background. I’m a Javanese moslem and He’s a Bataknese Christian. Everything’s going well when we’re together. I’m not perfect person and so is he, but we matched perfectly. Sometimes we’re arguing about lots of thing, such as government, culture, etc and sometimes we became water and oil hehe. But I like it very much. Other cases, we’re often becoming water and flames. When one of us got mad, another should calm his/her down. He almost had “Mr. flame” part much more than me, and as well.. I’m the “Ms water”. He can raise me up and down easily, even till nowadays. I have ever asked him “May I hate you, man?”.

Even though we are different, everything was going fine. We’d never made it as problem. Everything walked in harmony, I loved it very much and of course I loved him . I used to make a Sunday morning call to wake him up for church-ing. It’s amazing when you mix two different people with their different world. He doesn’t believe in myth at all, but sometimes I do. And it became so silly when we talked about it. We used to talk too much every day, we used to laugh and laugh every day, we did take lots of picture, and sometimes we hurt each other. Unwittingly, we had carved out a story.

Sometimes he did flirt to others and it hurt. He could become poison to me and he’s the remedy too, unluckily. Sometimes we felt out then we made up.

Sometimes we cried because of laughing.

Sometimes tummies were hurt because of joking.

But sometimes my eyes were swollen after I was tearing.

But when we grew older, differences did us apart hardly. The problems did not come from us, but from people around us. We were mad, deeply sad, and we were pulling that damn anger out.

We were blaming each other..

Till the time’s come and we gave way to our fate. Really hard and couldn’t be told even written.  We know that continuing this story will hurt many people, so we tried to stop. I needed so many buckets of tears to have it stopped. But I did it well, I stopped it unexpectedly. I am not regretting all these things. I am thankful with all have done to me, to us. These last five years are more than enough. It went perfectly with all of its bitter-sweet and It was amazing. Now I’m happy with my today living, whatever it takes. It’s harder to see him sad than to see him happy with another. For those who are being with him right now, please keep him well :)

Maybe our fate is not here and now. Maybe we’ll find each other in another living track even another world.

I do live my today living happily, thanks to my friends for our unique friendship, for my beloved family, and also for those who filled my last 9 months. And last but not least, I'm writing this not for hurting anyone. I am now going my way, and so is he. I'm just want to keep it as a good memory :)

Everyone must has his/her past time. There is today because of yesterday and there will be tomorrow because of today. Go to the mirror! See yourself! and you'll say

" I'm here because I could walk through my past, Thank you.."

Sinta :)